-Őƒ Ďrėąm§ & Ŗěălĩtÿ…-

[D]ream [B]oard.. *

Friday, March 30, 2007
|10:28 AM|

For some unknown reason, I'm in a pretty good mood this morning! I'm actually feeling quite bright today...let's hope this will last througout the day...which I doubt after getting out of stats class later but aaah let's not think about that now...

It rains almost everyday here now! And you know what's the worst part? WORMS!!! When it rains the night before, the next morning when you walk to classes you can see worms of all different shapes and sizes on the ground! It's just oh-so gross!! Seriously I can't walk without looking on the ground for fear of stepping on one...but guess what..I think I did step on one...got to take a branch or stick to take the worm off underneath my shoe later...ewww....seriously it's just gross the hell out of me! And it seems that the worms are getting longer and fatter by the day...eww eww eww....

Just a random post about the ever-gross worms and my cheerfulness for this morning!

-cm-

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Monday, March 26, 2007
|7:57 PM|

It's just getting harder now...I don't know what to do and where to go...I thought that it'll be okay...everything would be fine and just normal...but now I feel how it's like...

Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing...but I will never regret...it's just not in me to do so...still I'm looking for guidance on which step to take right now...damn mel I need you so bad right now...although I know you are having your problems as well...Sorry girl, wish I could be there for you as well...

Just a totally random post to vent out my frustrations at the moment...okay car mun...quit ruminating and continue studying!! Actually, got some recent updates but too busy to post them at the moment...will do so as soon as I'm done with my exams for the week.

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Wednesday, March 21, 2007

|2:09 PM|

Yes everyone...Spring break is over...time to get our butts up and start cracking on the workload again. It has been one hell of an unproductive week for me, especially in the studies sector...have been working and doing some other 'activities'...ehem...might have been an unproductive week but it sure has been a rather eventful and interesting week if I should say so myself...but I'm not going to go into the gory details here...ngek ngek ngek...

Suddenly after a week of slacking, I find myself looking into the course syllabus and digging out exam dates, noting them down and scheduling my study plan. Sighz...reality hits me...it's time to work hard again. As hard as it bites into my state of laziness, I know I have to keep going and keep on doing well. Everyday it gets harder as I tell myself 'Car Mun, just one more day, one more step to take and the semester is over.' I keep pushing myself to work hard and to just get through yet another day. Everything is just so routine and sometimes I feel like there's nothing to look forward to....wait yes there is...SUMMER!! I just can't wait to go back to my family, the food, the malls, the friends...the LIFE!! Especially after getting off skype with mel, I really miss having someone around to talk to...to confide into when things go wrong...to share my joy when I'm happy...

Sometimes I just need someone to be around and listen to my woes...or someone to hold me when my knees get weak so that I won't fall...I know there are people out there who care and I thank them for that. Especially a recent 'presence' that came into my life...thank you very much for everything...For now I'm just hoping that this sem ends soon...sick of exams!!
On a totally unrelated note, after a few days of really cold spring weather, it's finally warm today! As in warm and the sun was actually working! Wow...haha...but I'm not complaining...I love the weather now!

Please please please make time fly! May 3rd...I'm waiting!

-cm-

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Thursday, March 8, 2007

|11:23 PM|

Ever experienced a time in your life when everything was just going into a daily cycle and routine when suddenly something falls upon you, forcing you to change your way on looking at things? Changes are bound to take place after that and furthermore, you have to make a decision on what step you are about to take next. The worst part is you don't have a clue, a path or a road that you can follow on deciding what you want. You're searching for any form of guidance but found none...And then you start to think and to search for anything that can be made as the basis of your decision but somehow, you find yourself thinking in circles...Maybe it's something that you have difficulty letting go? Or maybe it's something you fear or that you're afraid to step out of your comfort zone...Maybe it's all about risk...risks that you are afraid of taking in fear of making a mistake...taking a wrong step. All risks have two outcomes: bad or good and of course you're hoping for the latter but what if the former happens? Are you prepared to face the consequences that come with your decision?

Ever felt that your mind is swirling in a pool of a 101 things that it overwhelms you? You try not to think but it keeps invading your thoughts. Then there are times when you felt that you should do something but somehow, you're not that sure...Whether for the better or worst, all you want to do is make the right decision...a decision that would not only be of benefit to you but to others around you as well. Yes, I am finding my way around decisions to make and hopefully I would find and make the right one...

-cm-

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Monday, March 5, 2007

|7:36 PM|

Yippeeee!!! Got my air tickets...they arrived today!! I'll be leaving Lincoln, Nebraska on the 4th of May. From there I'll be transiting to Denver, Los Angeles, Hong Kong and finally the ever wonderful Kuala Lumpur!! I'll be reaching KL on the 6th of May...so ppl watch out for me!! Malaysia here I come!! (Look at me wei...not even near May and I'm getting all excited already...haha)

-cm-

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|3:24 PM|

I am bored and I am fat...yes I have put on weight (no doubt on that) and there are times when I feel like such a lump...or a ball...or a ball of lump or whatever but in short..I feel fat! I can see and feel the difference back in Malaysia and now. I think I'm even begining to have a tummy *gasps in horror* noooo!!!! See the tiny bulge there...it's forming *double gasps*...does my jeans feel tighter? I think it does...noooo!!!! Or am I just paranoid?

But no doubt that I have put on weight...And knowing that fact suxx big time...I'm short and therefore I cannot be fat...this has been a fact drilled into me and I have lived with this fact ever since I was...well...young. I look into the mirror now and I see my face a little rounder (cheers to having a long face!) and I look at the rest of my body...oh no....I have never been this paranoid and insecure about my weight before!!

Plus I never seem to be able to rub those circles off my eyes...It's so annoying! I think I look horrible most of the time...It's been awhile since I feel that I 'look good.' Honestly!! Could it be because of the weather? Damn I miss Malaysia...LOL! Plus I've never really gotten a chance to touch my make-up kit ever since I got here...God knows why I brought everything over...when summer comes, I got to bring it back again...yeessh...On a brighter note, I've booked tickets to return to Malaysia! Now just waiting for them to arrive into my hands...muahaha...and yes...I'm bored...

-cm-

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Saturday, March 3, 2007

|8:14 PM|

Life has been quite mundane lately...Actually I have been pretty busy especially with my studies but somehow today am feeling bored out of my mind! It's like there's nothing to do around here and I really have no idea what to do! I know, I know...I should be studying since my bio psy exam has been postponed to Tuesday but I've been staring at the same notes for the past week already! Even though I do not know everything that I've studied but I think the laziness is kicking in...probably because it's like studying the same thing and I want to learn something new instead. Or maybe I just need a break from studying...haha...

Malaysian Night is coming up...helping out with the preparations here and there...also the group of us are in the sketch that would be part of the performance that night. I'm playing the role of an ang moh...reason being I can talk...aikks...kinda hard cause I don't know how to act! Sighz...we've only had 2 practises so far...hope I won't appear so 'kaku' on that day...ahaha...

Nothing much to say...Just posting out of boredom. Spring break is coming next week! Hope something interesting will happen then!

-cm-

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Thursday, March 1, 2007

|3:00 PM|

Exam was cancelled on me again!! Woke up at 5am this morning to go to the toilet. Took me awhile to fall back to sleep when suddenly at 6am, I felt like something was not right...the heater was not working. It was so silent and the room was getting a tad too stuffy. So I climbed down my bed (I'm sleeping at the top of a double decker bed) and went to check on the thermostat. It was perfectly fine! So I went back up to my bed and a few minutes later, I heard whispers outside my door. Guess what? There was a blackout and it affected the whole university. Darren and Christi came knocking on my door and they said that classes were cancelled today. Today when I actually had a refleciton paper due and an exam that I really wanted to get it over and done with!! I was devasted and furthermore I had to bathe in the dark...It was around 6:30am and trust me, the bathroom is creepy when it's pitch black! Lay Poh was still sleeping and so I just trudge about in darkness; the only source of light coming from my phone. Eventually, the electricity did come back on but the weather was terrible. It was snowing really heavily and the snow was really thick on the ground. Later on, signs were posted everywhere saying 'No classes today' or 'Classes were cancelled' or 'UNL is close'...I received emails from my lecturers saying classes would be cancelled today. It was suspected that the blackout is due to the heavy snow. So I had breakfast and went back to bed, still not believing that exams cancelled on me in two consecutive weeks!! Now I have to face the agony until next Tuesday! Nooooo.....

After lunch, a big group of us went for snowball fight! Was fun...got snow all over me...lol..don't know why people keep picking on me! Am I that nice to bully? We were acting like kids but hey..it's not everyday we get a snow storm so might as well make the best out of it!

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'I rather be hated for who I am

then be loved for who I am not...'

So you think you know me?

Did well on the 1st test? Then try this one!

You Are Grape

You are bold and a true individual. You are very different and very okay with that. People know you as a straight shooter. You're very honest, even when the truth hurts. You are also very grounded and practical. No one is going to sneak anything by you. People enjoy your fresh approach to life. And it's this honesty that makes you a very innovative person.